A better world

Its up to us to bring the kingdom of God into earth, through good works. First, we have to bring the kingdom of God into ourselves.

I was listening to a talk today, about the difference between self inquiry and narcissm. My experience has been that intense self inquiry and understanding is essential as a phase in the journey, and then it will give way to a desire to do good in the world. I feel that. I feel that I have much less of a need to always go inside, There is not much difference between inside and outside anymore; it is all experience arising. If I watch my thoughts, I realize that I want to create good in the world.

This is not some idealistic fantasy. I have fallen into idealism before and its a trap which seemed to often inadvertently create its opposite, to strengthen darkness. This is heaven coming into the earth through this body.

My journey has been a long journey of healing and opening to Spirit. Slowly, my negative emotions have been increasingly transformed, and I am more and more positive, at ease, accepting, understanding, and balanced. I feel love. I notice the content and emotional driver of almost every thought. Inside me, there has been a hard fough  revelotion against addiction, doubt and fear,  that, through the grace of God, has been won.

I have been asking myself what world I want to create. I read somewhere that before you change the world, change yourself. In the moment to moment of my life, with colleagues, students, friends, I have been opening, laughing, bringing in positive energy. I have made repeated attempts to understand more, listen more, accept more, and if I have a reaction or aversion or obsession, to find that seperate thing within me, becoming more and more free in my inner world.

I have been receieving more and more unsolicited compliments from more different people recently, of how people feel comfortable and understood around me, how they like my positive energy, and how they enjoy my presence. This makes me happy; I am happy that love and goodness is flowing into the world through me, and I am grateful for that. The compliments are important as feedback from  the world is important, and for me it is a sign that finally I am creating good.

The point is that the good is in small places, in flashes of laughter, in a compliment on a friends nails, in the stepping aside and helping an old person. Simple moments, this is where it matters. This is what I suspect we ought to strive for, and that is the transforming of our inner world, irrespective of the conditions around us, and then the joyful expansion of that inner world into the ins and outs of life. This is how good is created. This is how God loves Its up to me to create the world I want, First, I create a beautiful inner world. The outside then follows. .

Love
Bruce