Spiritual Narcissm

I can only write this article because I spent a long time wallowing in this trap. There is a fundamental problem among many people pursuing spirituality today. They want spirituality to fit them; they believe they have right to whatever they want, and that the universe owes it to them. I have no doubt that everyone is deeply loved and supported by the universe, and is always being guided towards their highest and most powerful truths. You are not owed anything by God; you already have the gift of this body, and the gift that you are receiving is to be having the human experience, in all its shades of love and suffering. Do you imagine that God will change his rules to ‘fit you', so you can feel good and just have what you want? That is the height of egocentrism. ‘If I just wish say my affirmations hard enough, and put it out to the universe every day,  then all my dreams will effortlessly come true.' What bullshit.  This drive to have the universe accommodate your desires of pleasure and inoculation from pain is a major source of suffering, and is perpetuated by the delusional ego. The ego is delusional because it thinks that it will find permanency and satisfaction in a set of ‘stable' conditions, such as love, or money, or a dream house. The ego wants to find a home for itself in these conditions, and perpetuate its separate self-sense identity. Happiness and security becomes dependant on external conditions, and if these conditions happen to be realized, then the cycle of suffering, based on the contraction of consciousness into identification with the self-grasping ego, is continued. This desire for permanency in conditions leads to a one sided fight as the individual naively fights the universe, trying to learn how to manipulate conditions to their own advantage. Even if the individual temporarily masters worldly power, the effort is doomed to fail as the human body will die, and the trappings of the world will be left behind. Its better to face the reality of your death sooner rather than later.

The way out of this dilemma is to break the identification of consciousness with the ego, thus freeing the self with liberation or self-realization as Atman. The ego is not the problem; it's the self identification with the finite ego that needs to be overcome. Unfortunately, most people do not have the strength, the persistence, the drive or the love to transcend the ego, as authentic transformation involves too much tragedy and despair as the every dream held dear has to be given up. It's too much for most people to be willing to face a life of no future, and the loss of every dream will lead to a dark night of despair, futility, sometimes even death. At this point, the pursuit of spirituality will have had the opposite effect you wanted; instead of bringing you happiness, love and abundance, you are faced with the horror and loss of all that hold true. The darkest light is before the dawn, however, and the freedom lies in letting go. If you can journey through this dark passage, after being stripped by of everything you ever held dear, then what you are left with is real, eternal and undestroyable, as you rest in the realization of your True Self, no longer confusing yourself with the world of form.

If you reach this point, then spirit can finally start to work through you, unimpeded. You will still have your dreams, you will still have your desires. The dreams of the ego-identified self are still dreams of a higher truth and better possibilities, and deserve to be honored. However, it's the refusal and fear of the self-identified ego to stay present to whatever is arising, that prevents the realization of many of these dreams. The big difference, is that you will no longer be trying to escape the present, trying to find a home in a world of feelings of worldly securities. With the willingness to be unblinkingly present to everything that arises, you can start to work with conditions in the present, and you can start to learn how to transform the present into your highest future. Instead of wishful thinking, you will start to act in the present, by learning how to add value to others, by learning how to love, by learning how to be true to yourself. You align with the evolutionary impulse to bring forth better and higher futures, of which you are a part of. You become the solution to a better future, working to create better and higher possibilities, instead of a better future becoming the solution to your escape from discomfort and your deluded sheltering in pleasant conditions. You let spirit work with you, and through you, and you allow spirit to show you what you need to see.

The self identified with the ego sees only what reinforces its self image, which may or may not be a true reflection of what you actually are. Spirit functions as a mirror for your soul, so all you have to do is learn to start looking. Learn to see events, situations and people  as reflections of yourself, and when you can understand how to do that, then every emotionally charged event ‘between you and the world' becomes an opportunity to find your truth. If you refuse to acknowledge your missing parts, then you continue to live inside your lie, and your life becomes stuck as you become blind to your own love speaking to you. The movement to your highest futures is connected to being truthful to the present, and once you learn that, then your life will start to have movement. Once you can understand your current reality, and how you have play a pivotal part in continuing to perpetuate your current situations, then you have learnt something about your nature, and about human nature. God applauds the seekers of wisdom and those who learn to love, and by doing that, you will create movement. With the growth of wisdom and the nurturing of love, then you can start to add value to others in this world, and you can begin to live the life of love and abundance that you so rightfully desire, because it's a world of connection, and a world of sharing. But do it from embracing and understanding the present, not fighting the present or trying to replace the present.